Article by Patrick 'twisted' Hardy
Soldier of Fortune were crossed with classic TV shows:
5. Saddam in the Middle (Malcolm in the Middle):
This TV show brings the out the true child in all of us. It stars Saddam
in his early years as a novice dictator. He struggles to understand himself,
but sometimes his temper gets the best of him. After being forgiven for
destroying a lot of oil in the Gulf War, he learns that life sucks and that
hookers were created to solve the problem.
4. Beers (Cheers): After saving the world from terrorism,
Mullins decides to take up the civilian life. He soon finds a bar called
Beers that seems almost too perfect. The people there are always friendly,
however, they are just a tad eccentric. One of the barkeepers always spills
beer on him and always praises Saddam Hussein. Most of the people drive
taxis and carry on normal manual labor jobs. However, Mullins soon realizes
this bar is another terrorist group trying to end the world by serving bitter
beer! He soon shuts down their little operation and saves the one liquid
that’s worth killing yourself over!
3. Mad about Amu (Mad about You): Jamie and General
Amu try to make sense out of the world while trying not to be assassinated
in the process. While taking a job as Saddam’s humble sidekick, Jamie
takes on the immense responsibilities of being made a housewife. The
pay may not be the greatest, but at least Saddam built them a palace
overlooking the desert! You will laugh and cry while spending every
moment with this down-to-earth couple.
2. Soldierfeld (Seinfeld): Mullins confronts Taylor
about her "man hands". Kramer topples the fashion industry by introducing
the "Bro", the male version of the bra. Sam introduces the new phrase,
"This pepperoni is making me thirsty." Elaine seeks counseling after
she is caught doing the Electric Slide with Hawk at work. Many pointless
scenes like this demonstrate this show's mission to be about nothing.
1. 90911 (90210): The tragedy unfolds when Hawk finds
out Sam has another lover! Mullins is having second thoughts about
marrying Taylor. Dylan is afraid to tell Amu about his secret drug
addiction and his strange fetish for dressing up as a woman. Dekker
can't decide if he wants to get a green card. This show truly deals
with real issues. Have no fear, if the episodes become repetitive,
throw in some new characters and continue the show for another 10
years. |
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