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[by
Chris (Reese) Beauregard]
Phoebus: Come on Reese, just do the mailbag!
Reese: But it hurts.
Phoebus: Now!
Reese: Damn, i am whipped... Hey everybody, time for another week of mailbag.
Even when I thought your emails hit rock bottem last week, you manage
to go even lower. Email
me with comments or suggestions and don't forget to check out the
Bassie Awards (as in dumbassie).
From: Hallows,
Alastairs
Topic: Germany
Nice to blow the hell out of the GERMANS with some REALLY devastating weapons,
and a knife.
PLEASE reply to duncan.hallows@talk21.com
I bet the Germans feel the same way about you. Just watch your back...you
might just get a sausage to your head. I am still wondering what I am suppose
to say in the reply.
From: Reese
Subject: RE: Germany
I like sausage
PLEASE respond to reese@soldier-of-fortune.com
From: Beauregard,
Leslie
Subject: Mailbag
I just want to let you know that you are adopted.
Leslie
Thanks a lot sis. I still have one last question
for you... I have always wondered what sexual position created the ugliest
children. So when you get a chance, ask your mom.
From: znerg@gmx.de
Subject: WHY??? NO BLOOD??
Well, i´m living in Germany! I Bought SOF because it looked pretty good.
I Played it, but then i saw that there is no Blood!!! Why not? Is there
any patch around??? A 3D ACTION GAME ISN´T VERY REALISTIC WITHOUT BLOOD!!!!
please help
--
ZNERG
Thanks for the help
Gordon
Well.. sucks to be you. I guess you will have to
deal with flowers coming out of the bad guys instead of blood.
Mullins: Can't we all just get along.
Gangster: I love you man!
Mullins: You can't have my bud light.
From: MDFMKxTORT@cs.com
Subject: bluik bluik. problems with your butts. nark. nark
what is a twisted? hok hok hok. TO THE CRESTED BOOKA.!!! stuff is really
really cool. hawk kicked my ass. he did like a Mortal Kombat fatality to
me and i like froze like Sub-Zero and he uppercutted me to the pit of cows.
anyway, does Sam take bong hits when John is not away. also, when your in
the book store and you use cheat codes to get the weapons, take the knife
and throw it at the people. then you can kill them anymore and you can walk
right through them and your weapons can go right through them. they like
become ghosts, like in the Sixth Sense. D()()D!!!! thats like creepy. send
in Scooby Doo. bwuhahahaha. Dekker eats scooby snacks. can i be in your
little thigny mailbag thingy whatever its called, the mailbag or sumthing?
like. ungh
Mr. Butt
PS. Thanks a lot
This is the most intelligent email I have recieved
yet.
From: .
Subject: SOF-MOD
Does anyone happen to know where I can get a weapon mod for this amazing
game? I appreciate the info.
Actually, I am planning to make a mod that you
are me and you run around killing people who email you with worthless questions.
Check it out.
From: Barry
Hatton
Subject:
Hi all
My name is Barry and I've just purchased SOF, I would like to know if you
could send me details of where I might find the rules to multiplayer gaming
using SOF?. I mean on things like Capturing the flag, assasin ect. I hope
to hear from you.
Thanks
Barry
The rules of deathmatch are fairly complex. Here
they are listed from most important to least:
1) Kill everything you see!
2) Kill everything you see!
3) Kill everything you see!
4) Always make sure to extend your pinky finger when drinking tea or coffee.
tnx allot
From: Hans Verhoevan
Subject: servers?
please give me some adresses to play the multiplayer-version of the game!
I really want to play against all of you, so can you please send a few adresses
to:
remy@verhoeven.nl.com
I am not quite sure where everyone plays. I know
that Twisted plays with himself all the time and so do I. But if anyone
wants to play us I will be perfectly willing to get twisted and you on a
server and let you beat up on him for a while.
From: Sameer
Subject: Question
From: George W. Subject:
whats the difference between 3dfx open glide and the other, regualr open
glide? also what's the diofference between EAX sound and A3D sound? thanks
Wow, an actual intelligent question. Well, mostly
the difference between those are who makes them. They are specific drivers
for video and sound cards. The Quality is pretty much the same
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From:
Sameer
Subject: sound/video
whats the difference between 3dfx open glide and the other, regualr
open glide? also what's the diofference between EAX sound and A3D
sound? thanks
Yes, the sender is the same, the question
is the same, the email address is the same, but it is a different
topic. Sigh.
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