Article by Chris 'Reese' Beauregard
Phoebus: Come on Reese, just do the mailbag!
Reese: But it hurts.
Phoebus: Now!
Reese: Damn, i am whipped... Hey everybody, time for another week of mailbag.
Even when I thought your emails hit rock bottem last week, you manage to
go even lower. Don't forget to check out the coveted Bassie Award winner. ;)
From: Hallows, Alastairs
Subject: Germany
Nice to blow the hell out of the GERMANS with some REALLY devastating weapons,
and a knife.
I bet the Germans feel the same way about you. Just watch your back...you
might just get a sausage to your head. I am still wondering what I am suppose
to say in the reply.
From: Beauregard, Leslie
Subject: Mailbag
I just want to let you know that you are adopted.
Leslie
Thanks a lot sis. I still have one last question for you... I have always
wondered what sexual position created the ugliest children. So when you
get a chance, ask your mom.
From: znerg
Subject: WHY??? NO BLOOD??
Well, i´m living in Germany! I Bought SOF because it looked pretty good.
I Played it, but then i saw that there is no Blood!!! Why not? Is there
any patch around??? A 3D ACTION GAME ISN´T VERY REALISTIC WITHOUT BLOOD!!!!
please help
--
ZNERG
Thanks for the help
Gordon
Well.. sucks to be you. I guess you will have to deal with flowers coming
out of the bad guys instead of blood.
Mullins: Can't we all just get along.
Gangster: I love you man!
Mullins: You can't have my bud light.
From: MDFMKxTORT
Subject: bluik bluik. problems with your butts. nark. nark
what is a twisted? hok hok hok. TO THE CRESTED BOOKA.!!! stuff is really
really cool. hawk kicked my ass. he did like a Mortal Kombat fatality to
me and i like froze like Sub-Zero and he uppercutted me to the pit of cows.
anyway, does Sam take bong hits when John is not away. also, when your in
the book store and you use cheat codes to get the weapons, take the knife
and throw it at the people. then you can kill them anymore and you can walk
right through them and your weapons can go right through them. they like
become ghosts, like in the Sixth Sense. D()()D!!!! thats like creepy. send
in Scooby Doo. bwuhahahaha. Dekker eats scooby snacks. can i be in your
little thigny mailbag thingy whatever its called, the mailbag or sumthing?
like. ungh
Mr. Butt
PS. Thanks a lot
This is the most intelligent email I have recieved yet.
From: .
Subject: SOF-MOD
Does anyone happen to know where I can get a weapon mod for this amazing
game? I appreciate the info.
Actually, I am planning to make a mod that you are me and you run around
killing people who email you with worthless questions. Check it out.
From: Barry Hatton
Subject: <no subject>
Hi all
My name is Barry and I've just purchased SOF, I would like to know if you
could send me details of where I might find the rules to multiplayer gaming
using SOF?. I mean on things like Capturing the flag, assasin ect. I hope
to hear from you.
Thanks
Barry
The rules of deathmatch are fairly complex. Here they are listed from
most important to least:
1) Kill everything you see!
2) Kill everything you see!
3) Kill everything you see!
4) Always make sure to extend your pinky finger when drinking tea or coffee.
From: Hans Verhoevan
Subject: servers?
please give me some adresses to play the multiplayer-version of the game!
I really want to play against all of you, so can you please send a few adresses
to:
I am not quite sure where everyone plays. I know that Twisted plays with
himself all the time and so do I. But if anyone wants to play us I will
be perfectly willing to get twisted and you on a server and let you beat
up on him for a while.
From: Sameer
Subject: Question
whats the difference between 3dfx open glide and the other, regualr open
glide? also what's the diofference between EAX sound and A3D sound? thanks
Wow, an actual intelligent question. Well, mostly the difference between
those are who makes them. They are specific drivers for video and sound
cards. The Quality is pretty much the same.
From: Sameer
Subject: sound/video
whats the difference between 3dfx open glide and the other, regualr open
glide? also what's the diofference between EAX sound and A3D sound? thanks
Yes, the sender is the same, the question is the same, the email address
is the same, but it is a different topic. Sigh.
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